When you’re having sex with somebody, you can say “yes”, you can say “yeah”, you can say “uh-huh.” But for some reason you can’t say “yep”.
Yep, oh, yep, baby. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep INDEED!
|—||Demetri Martin (via youaremygasoline)|
Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.
|—||Demetri Martin (This Is A Book)|
Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that’s actually called a Queen.
|—||Demetri Martin (via the-chubby-nerd)|